KneeHigh you swines!!!
Whenever I learn that somebody is going to see Knee Highs’s Dead Dog in a Suitcase I warn them of three things. “You’ll either hate it, Love it, Or love it so much it will annoy you” That’s because the very first time I laid my failing eyes on the production, I was simply blown away by what the company had achieved. It was quite simply an all you could eat theatrical buffet! The bastards had thought of everything, singing, dancing, acting, live music, lights, smoke and puppets….Puppets for fuck sake! I thought id rid myself of puppets many years ago but somehow, Knee High made it work. I remember sitting back in the interval thinking “Well, were all fucked, nothing can top this!” And then came the second act with a vengeance. Did it give you time to relax? Did it buggery! It cascades into utter madness resulting in an ending like no other. Violins waling, actors singing their little hearts out and a giant bone dog to see you off like the last shot of Ouzo on a ‘lads’ holiday! It was all just too much for my tiny mind at the time. I came home that night; I sat in the dark like a depressed dramatist, id like to say whisky in hand but I believe it was a cold coke zero (Watching my figure at the time) and thinking to myself “Fuck you KneeHigh you bunch of geniuses”. For weeks I told people about the show, I remarked at just how inspired it was, their use of imagination and the way they utilized themselves to maximum theatrical effect. Id go as far to say it inspired myself and a few others to go on to create our own show and take it to the fringe. Then, by utter chance over a year later, I was lucky enough to get a job at the very theatre that Dead Dog was performed. First thing I did was look to see if the show was gracing us with its presence again, it was! Excited was an understatement, I made sure I had my ticket AND I was working the show (Just to be safe). My fan girl-ing was reaching its peak, here we go again, a theatrical feast for me to devour and leave no crumbs! Hey Andy fancy going out tonight? Get fucked I told the girl id been trying to woo for the last 2 years who worked in Sainsbury’s, I have the hottest ticket in town tonight and nothing will stop me you selfish cow (That didn’t happen, but a man can dream) I sat down and so it begun, the greatest show on earth and I’m front row, a cold sweat washing over me, wine gums at the ready.
I don’t know what is worse, the fact that 1. I didn’t enjoy it as much or 2. I think I found its flaw? Second time round and I found the whole thing to be dare I say over the top? Oh god, I’ve just committed high treason to myself! London tower and my head on the block is what I deserve. But hang on, it’s ok to think in such a heinous way surely? When I look back and take stock on the whole shebang I realize that wrapped in the bubble of theatrical fanfare and over the top style lay a very boring story! It’s not clever, it’s not new, it’s not intricate, it’s not interesting, and it’s not anything! What KneeHigh have done is polish a turd. As graphic as that sounds it’s the best way I can describe the whole experience and the entire thing left me feeling a bit offended in all honesty. “Here you are everyone, we’ll give you a shitty story because you’re all just a bunch of misanthropic hard boiled sweet suckers that would never be able to comprehend a REAL story, so we’ll jump around, shout down microphones, spin some double basses and set off a load of smoke so you get distracted!” It felt like theatrical propaganda. I can almost hear you all calling me a two faced swine but hear me out. Dead Dog in a Suitcase in wonderful feat in theatrical engineering, it’s still imaginative, crazy and laugh out loud comedy that will entertain most who are lucky enough to see it. But in this, it’s missed a vital trick and a fundamental lesson. Audiences are clever, if they have to trust you, surely you have to trust them as well? Give us a story to sink our teeth into! I’m not saying go ahead and give us a jazzy Crime and Punishment (actually that’s a boss idea) but give us something to invest our time and emotion into! Don’t just jump around the stage and hide you’re lackluster story, that’s just isn’t fair. I know we live in world of fast technology and everyone is glued to their social media, but it’s surely where theatre is spiraling down the shit pan? Come away from the smoke and mirrors, give us a hefty story and then you intertwine it with your KneeHigh genius! If you do that, I’ll love you forever.
Now if you don’t mind, I’ve got a cat video to watch on Facebook.
Tra x
